CloneZone’s Topher Taylor Road Tests… the El Rey

    When the Mr Hankey’s range arrived at Clonezone, our emails, social media DM’s and phonelines exploded with enquiries from excited customers. This American bland proudly proclaim to create the world’s best dildos – and who are we to argue? Our customers have fallen in love, so naturally I became curious. The original drop of Hankey’s toys that we received were HUGE and that’s no exaggeration. Some were larger than my head to waistline in length and as girthy as 15 inches in circumference. That’s just not something I would or could do, so I had to skip that party. I literally would need anaesthetic and some sort of SAW movie restraint device to even attempt that.


    I had fallen in love with the 75% soft material we had. This firm-yet-pliable material allows the dildos to jiggle as you hold them, which I’d compare to a guy’s cock a few minutes after sex when it’s in that post-erection-semi-hard stage. But the size was too much, so I had to skip it. UNTIL my colleague informed me that we were getting in EXTRA SMALL version of the Mr Hankey’s toys. I’d been admiring the EL REY for a while as I liked its shape.

    The EL REY toy I selected had dimensions which are much less intimidating with a circumference of 5.5. inches at the widest point and an insertable length of 7 inches. To be honest, I couldn’t make up my mind between the new Extra Small arrivals and I just thought ‘El Rey’ was the prettiest. Ideally, I wanted the TAINTACLE but its impossible to keep in stock, so I thought I’d leave it for our customers. I’m nice like that.

    El Rey carries the nickname ‘King of Dildos’ which is a title given to this penetration device by Mr Hankey himself. It features realistic foreskin detailing, with it retracting gently at the tip and its realistic shaft is detailed with skin detailing and veins. It’s a pretty willy. It reminds me of a typical hung British guys dick. It has a flat base with a VAC-U-LOCK hole at the base which allows it to attach to strap on harnesses and fuck machines.

    All of our Mr Hankey’s toys are made from 100% silicone so I had already put aside SPIT to Reactivate Water based lube to be used with it. And as always, I began by rubbing lube up-and-down its shaft and gently pushing some inside of myself with my fingertips. If you don’t like doing it with your fingertips, use the tip of your toy.

    Pushing El Rey in was instantly satisfying and the most realistic ‘dick’ feeling I have ever experienced. It felt exactly like a guy pushing his dick inside, from the shape and size right through to firmness. If you’ve ever slept with a guy that gets a little bit soft after putting the condom on or struggles to stay fully-erect before being inside… then this is comparable to that. It’s instantly gratifying. And it may be psychological but I felt like it got harder when it was inside, which may be something to do with my sphincter muscles gripping it and my internal temperature changing.

    Holding the flat base makes fucking yourself with EL REY really simple, as the soft material contours into the palm of your hand perfectly – giving you great leverage without awkward slipping from lubey fingers. I HATE lubey fingers. As when using most internal toys, my instant reaction is to begin wanking or doing something internally but I wanted to put it off. 

    I’d visited my GUM clinic (the amazing Jefferiss Wings at St Marys, Paddington) a day before, and as usual I stayed celibate until I had my all-clear text message. So, I really appreciate the ‘attention’ from El Rey. If you’re someone who enjoys pleasurable and ‘passionate’ penetration then I really recommend this toy. The Extra Small options are ideal for fans of anal sex.

    Bringing myself to orgasm with El REY was absolutely effortless and I found that I left him inside when I was cleaning up the front. Pulling out again was so similar to being with a partner, as the full hardness of the erect cock has worn off.

    Clean up is effortless. You literally just have to spray with toy cleaning spray (I used my Nexus spray) and rub some warm water over it. Leave it to dry fully before storing it away. Also, make sure that you don’t rest the silicone toy against another toy as the material may warp.


    Dimensions:

    • Circumference near head:
    • 4.5” Circumference near the middle: 5.5”
    • Circumference near base: 5.15”
    • Insertable length: 7.0”

    Material:

    • 100% Silicone with 75%    
    • Softness

    Price:

    • £57.99

    Use ‘TOPHER’ for 10% OFF at the basket at www.clonezone.co.ukAny questions? Curiosities? Tweet me @HelloIamTopher or email [email protected] – I’m always happy to help where I can. If I can help you cum like a pig, I’ll be happy.

    If you want something bigger and perhaps you’re an expert with stretching, training and depth play – then look at the larger Mr Hankey’s options at Clonezone. We go so big that it’ll make your eyes water and your nipples vibrate.