How to be a Better Top

    How to be a better top

    I may not possess the biggest dick to satisfy every bottom while I am topping them, but as a versatile man: I know exactly what I want from a top when bottoming.


    Most exclusive tops don’t have the benefit of knowing first-hand how a bottom likes to be pleasured, so hopefully this guide will give you a bit of insight into what a bottom wants from his top to make the end result better for both of you.

    Vary your speed

    Some bottoms may like the same pace during the duration of anal sex. However, most of us do not. Sex isn’t just about sticking your dick into a guy’s hole and pounding away.

    A guy’s sphincter is naturally closed tight, so start off slow until he relaxes and gets used to your cock. Once he does get used to it, then you can pick up the pace. A gentle and steady, in-and-out rhythm is a good way to help a guy relax. Maybe add in an occasional harder thrust in-between the gentle ones and see how he responds. Tell-tale signs such as backing into your cock, pulling you into him, or simply crying “harder! harder!” give you the green light to pick up the pace. You can try out your moves on some great gay masturbators first if

    Respect your partner

    Do not shame your sexual partner by calling him “loose”. Guys can train their sphincter and learn how to strengthen and flex this muscle. Being “tight” means a guy has not fully learned how to train his anal sphincter yet. Training your sphincter and letting it loosen up can add to the pleasure for both parties. Calling someone “loose” erroneously implies there is something shameful about bottoming.

    Similarly, don’t shame your partner about his cleanliness. The word “dirty” too implies something shameful and could add to the bottom’s anxiousness and might make the sex less enjoyable. Don’t freak out if you encounter some shit. Literally, shit happens! Gently tell him about it if it is an issue for you and move forward from there.

    Keep it sliding!

    Use lots of anal gay lube, this can increase the pleasure for your partner, and with it yourself. If the bottom needs to take a breather to either apply more lube, or to change the condom, then be patient with him. Taking your time whilst fucking can result in longer more intense sessions. Save the quick fucks for the toilets.

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    Consider using your tongue

    Just like having your cock sucked, a lot of guys like having their ass rimmed. Try changing up your technique whilst in there. Try using your breath and blowing on his hole. Rimming can be a great part of foreplay and getting your tongue in there can be a fantastic precursor to getting your cock in there!

    Vary the thrusting techniques 

    Once you’re all the way in and he’s more relaxed, consider adding some variety into your thrusting. Some guys like to just be pounded -that is absolutely fine- but many bottoms want something more. Try alternating your techniques between fast and slow, rough and gentle, and adapt to how he responds. If you’re close to cumming and you wish to prolong your orgasm; then halt your thrusting while you’re still inside him.

    Experiment with different positions

    Everyone has their favourite positions, but remember that your bottom may favour a different position from you. Also fucking in just one position can make your sex life dull, so just like your thrusting techniques – try something new! There are literally dozens of positions to try out and maybe try different furniture and not just your bed – the sofa, the washing machine, a sling, the list is almost endless!

    Experiment with toys

    Gay sex toys can deliver a lot of different sensations to the bottom and can be used as foreplay and/or for post-sex play. There are many toys to try – from butt plugs to anal dildos of all shapes and sizes. See what works for him. You can also use your fingers (but remember to trim those nails first!).

    Don’t worry about size

    I don’t have the biggest dick in the world so I learn to work with it. If you exude confidence during sex – it shows! It’ll be both good for yourself and for your partner. If size is an issue, then talk with your partner about maybe wearing a cock sheath whilst fucking. It’s an inexpensive and often effective method if size is an issue to the bottom. 

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    Don’t feel any pressure

    If you feel uncomfortable during sex in either position then say so. If you are pressured into doing anything that you’re uncomfortable with, then he is not the guy for you. 

    Finally -and most importantly- enjoy!


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