‘Ello my darlins, this month’s column is about porn actor myths. All of us have certain ideas of what we think porn actors’ lives are like. I definitely had some crazy thoughts before I ended up in this weird little world. So, I asked around my friends and followers and put together a little list for you lovelies.
PORNSTARS ALWAYS WANT SEX
This is probably the most annoying myth. Everyone thinking we are sex crazed animals means we get sent dick pics, hole pics and nudes every single day of our lives. Our sex drives are probably lower than your average guy because we save our energy for work. Once sex begins to be a job your relationship with it changes slightly. I’m still just as wild and kinky as I was before but I have my orgies every other week instead of every week now. So please stop sending us ugly dick pics constantly!
THE TOPS ARE TOPS AND THE BOTTOMS ARE BOTTOMS
Now I can’t name names but let’s just say that a lot of those tops are in fact big old bottoms 😉 At the end of the day it is a job. We are acting and we all create a certain image of ourselves. If you can top, you’ll get a lot more work so many bottoms top or go vers for work.
PORN ACTORS HAVE NO MONEY
A year ago this was mostly true as porn companies closed or lowered their rates it became impossible to live from just porn. Bar jobs or escorting kept most actors going. With the rise of onlyfans and jff that has changed. Now people who work hard to produce their own content are making money like the old golden days of porn. So much so that now any bitch with an iphone is trying to jump on the band waggon.
PORNSTARS ARE MASC 4 MASC
To quote the legendary King Julian from Madagascar ‘They’re just a bunch of pansies.’ Porn actors come in all shapes, sizes and types. A lot of the big names who you see all beefed up and hairy in photos talk like an Essex nail technician and it’s fabulous.
WE PLAY BEFORE GETTING ON SET TO BUILD CHEMISTRY
Sex in Porn and normal sex are two different things. Chemistry is less important than our being able to perform. The day (sometimes day before too) of a shoot we have to be strict and not fuck, wank or cum. Occasionally you get a scene partner who you really have chemistry with and you spend the whole time before the shoot trying not to touch each other and then when you finally film it’s electric. Those are the best shoots!
PORN STARS ARE STUPID
This is my favourite myth. In some cases, it’s 100% accurate. If anyone has had the misfortune to meet my ex, they can vouch for it. I once asked him what his favourite book was, and he replied “Erm I once read a copy of vogue.” Two sequins short of a gown that one. However, if someone is going to make it in this industry, they need to be able to balance a range of skills. As a porn actor you have to be your own accountant, booking agent and personal assistant. You have to arrange flights, hotels, keep a schedule, do your own marketing, run multiple social media accounts and maintain your image while also being professional and proactive when it comes to finding work and making money, you are self-employed in an industry without a support system. Viktor Rom the famous Venezuelan pornstar was a lawyer back in Venezuela before moving to Europe to be a pornstar and as for little old me, I speak 5 languages and studied history and philology and my side job is English teacher. People from all walks of life come to this industry.